How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Porn is love you can see.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize