I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
