NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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