Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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