There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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