Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
