Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you win again, gameday.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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