can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
