i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
