i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
