Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
