i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
