yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
