Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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