found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
