just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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