Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize