Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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