I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
