Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
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The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
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He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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