there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
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