I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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