awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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