Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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