So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
