and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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