i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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