I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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