dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
