I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
