i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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