In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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