I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
