Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize