Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
