so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
