We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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