went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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