Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
They have beer where we have blood.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
