how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
