i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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