He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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