Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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