I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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