I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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