I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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