The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
