This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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