talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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