he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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