Only a mothe r could love this liver
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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