need another drink. this is the easiest way
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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