the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
