It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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