And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
