You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
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I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
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i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
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