is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
not ubering you a puppy
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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