If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
