it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize